Say Something



Death is inevitable. For the last months, whenever I tell this to my students, there really are no feelings because of the fact that I never experience the pain of death before. The pain of losing an aunt, losing a grandmother or great grandmother is different from losing a boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or an husband or wife. I never really thought it would be this hard. It's not easy to accept when you lose someone so close to you but nobody really say it would be easy. So I must face the question on how can I cope with this kind of situation. There are people saying that I am strong and i am facing it now fairly enough but there are also some people who can see in my eyes the sadness that I am trying to hide. It is really hard to act in this world, pretending that you are alright which is in fact the other way around. The hardest part of all is that I had to report on my work the day after of the burial of my boyfriend and teach in front of many students about taking vital signs where I experienced a lot of it in the hospital during his confinement. I also need to pretend that I am happy eventhough deep inside I am not.

I made another video (the first video was the video I made during the necrological service on the last day of wake) of Gerald. This time, the video is all about just the two of us. I have recovered a lot of our pictures in my multiple account and was so lucky to retrieve our pictures together in my old CPU. For me not to lose them again, I have decided to make a video compiling our pictures together for me to be able to see them from time to time even I lose my computer and cellphone because It is now uploaded in youtube.

Gerald will serve as an angel to me right now. I may not know the right way to cope in this kind of situation but I know that I need to be strong person right now. Just like what his sister constantly reminding me that Gerald will not be happy if he will see me sad. I miss him a lot that I often post pictures of him on my Instagram.  

I chose the song Say something by A great Big World because this was the song he was listening before he was hospitalized according to his sister. And the other song is Lovesong by Adele because we both love Adele and this is our lovestory.

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