Welcome to My Operating Room

The world celebrates gay pride this week and we have our own version of celebrating in our training center. It was actually my first time to wear skirt and high heels in my entire life so I thought I need to document this event in my life. My students organized a party for their Nutrition to apply everything they have learned from the module. Since they were few proud gays in the class, they have decided to make  a pageant they have called 'Ms. Biotin 2014'. Biotin is a vitamin that sounds like 'bayot' which means a gay person in gay 'linggo'. It was never a secret in our school that I'm gay but since I am still closet outside our family friends and relatives because my parents were conservative and also the owners of our training center  were also conservative people, I have decided to disguise myself by covering my face.  It was a hard decision, not by joining or wearing makeups and skirt, but it was hard covering my face because as I sai...

Hi Gerald, I miss you. Namis ko yung makita kang kumakain ng paborito mong kakanin, yung ipagtitimpla mo ko ng kape at maglalaro tayo ng baraha. Namis ko yung panonood natin ng sine, namis ko yung tatawagan kita at magsasalita ka ng japanese words na hindi ko maintindihan pero matatawa na lang ako at nawawala stress ko, yung pagdidilatan mo ko sa umaga pagka gising ko, yung pangungulit mo sa mga b ata at makukulit mong hirit. namimis ko yung mga paglalambing at kakulitan mo. namimis ko yung pagiintindi mo sa family mo especially kay mommy, yung mga foodtrip natin, namimis ko yung pagiging balidosa mo sa pananamit at pagaayos pero sobrang kalat sa kwarto, namimis ko yung amoy mo kahit galing ka sa volleyball mabango pa rin, namimis ko yung pagiging matapang mo pero sobrang lambot ng puso, namimis ko yung mga panahon na nagkakaayos tayo after ng mga misunderstandings, yung pagdadasal nating dalawa, namimis ko yung pipilitin mo kong pumunta sa inyo kahit sobrang layo tuwing may mga salo...

                          Summer is almost over although I woke this this morning terribly irritated because of extreme heat even it is already month of June. I already wanted this year to end because it has been a bad year since Gerald passed away. But to think of it, There are 6 months still remaining and I cannot rush the hands of time. I have a choice now: to be productive or to be lazy and wait until next year to regain myself again. But NO!, I have 6months remaining and I dont want to waste anymore time. I am on the last term for my Master's degree and I have decided to finish it this coming semester if God will allow me. I just hope that God will give me wisdom and strength to finish the race despite all the hardships and grieving process I am into right now. I would like to Outline the events that had happened to me this Summer. I would like to start my experience in Baler, Quezon. It was memorable because I neve...

Death is inevitable. For the last months, whenever I tell this to my students, there really are no feelings because of the fact that I never experience the pain of death before. The pain of losing an aunt, losing a grandmother or great grandmother is different from losing a boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or an husband or wife. I never really thought it would be this hard. It's not easy to accept when you lose someone so close to you but nobody really say it would be easy. So I must face the question on how can I cope with this kind of situation. There are people saying that I am strong and i am facing it now fairly enough but there are also some people who can see in my eyes the sadness that I am trying to hide. It is really hard to act in this world, pretending that you are alright which is in fact the other way around. The hardest part of all is that I had to report on my work the day after of the burial of my boyfriend and teach in front of many students about taking vital si...